I’ve known I should start writing more consistently for a
long time. Often, I just have ideas that I want to run with and develop further
but that don’t fit the confines of writing for my classes. I’ve also found that
committing words to paper (or Word doc) is an important part of how I
understand and make sense of the world and my life. Finally, I want to improve
my writing, and I think the best way to do that is by, well… writing.
I actually registered this blog over a year ago, and have
basically[1]
let it sit gathering dust. This is true for a number of reasons. One is that I,
like everyone else in the world, feel like I never have enough time. I’ve come
to think that for things that matter to you, that’s a BS excuse. You make time
for what’s important. On a deeper level, I think it is my own perfectionism
that has held me back. Every step of the way, I have let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I overthought the name.[2]
I thought about whether I should have an actual dot com instead of a Blogspot account. I thought about how what you put on the internet never really dies or
disappears. I thought about the danger of posting something I later regret writing.[3]
I thought about my posting schedule, and how many edited and airbrushed posts I
should have ready and in the hopper before I start posting.
And I haven’t done anything. So consider this a reaction
against that; an error-filled blow
against my own perfectionism. This not wanting to look bad or not wanting to
mess up is preventing me from getting better, from maybe bringing just a little
bit of value to the world. This is exactly what I would warn against when I
coached educators—the goal is not to be perfect, the goal is to be better at
one thing, and then another one. It's a lesson I've learned and forgotten more than I'd care to admit.
So I’m going to start posting here every other Monday. Forgive
me for breaking the rules this week. I plan to write reactions to what I’m
reading and thinking about or talking about in class, or what’s going on in the
world. I know I will end up writing a lot about St. Louis, specifically,
because it’s never too far from my mind. I will not pretend I have all the
answers, and I hope to ask questions and change my mind about things. I will
probably also write about family, and relationships, and spirituality, and myself, which is
a really scary proposition. This will not be perfect, not by a longshot.
Every other Monday,
for at least a good while, I will write something. And that’s something.
